Why do white people own so many pets?
Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.
*****
What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?
You know he did it.
*****
how many Chicago cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.”
*****
A good looking 50 year old white man is trying to get laid on reality TV. What show are you watching?
To catch a predator.
*****
Why do white girls travel in groups of three or five?
They can’t even
*****
What do you call 64 white people in a room? A full blooded Cherokee. —

from various reddit threads

at dinner last night, a coworker was talking about hanging out with his white friends and getting fed up with the racist jokes, and asked them to tell a white people joke.  nobody had any, so he googled and found these. after a few of them, people were a lot less comfortable.

white folks, next time you hear a racist joke, maybe lead with one of these in response.  tag this “I’m white” when you reblog it, if you are.

(via cuterpillar)

(Source: transascendant)

posted 7 hours ago with 53,978 notes
via:bananaleaves source:transascendant
#Yikes

therewerestarsintheireyes:

so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL

read it here:

Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

gaksdesigns:

Geometric watercolor-like tattoos by Russian based artist Sasha Unisex 

posted 7 hours ago with 196,786 notes
via:maladyofthequotidian source:gaksdesigns
#Archive: Art

princessbindi:

I used to be really embarrassed when my parents would mess up their English but as I got older I realized my parents know Malayalam, Hindi, Tamil, AND English.

They’re way smarter than I am. So I started to chill.

Somebody start talking about how immigrants are dumb because they can’t speak English properly. I’d fucking like to see you try and even remember four different languages, you elitist and racist fuckbaby.

Louisa May Alcott wrote Little Women for the money. And it made her miserable.

As a young writer, Alcott concentrated on lurid pulp stories of revenge, murder, and adultery–“blood and thunder” literature, as she called i–and enjoyed writing very much. She was in her mid 30s when an editor suggested she try writing a book for girls. Alcott wasn’t very interested, but her father was a complete moron with money and had left the family in terrible financial trouble. Alcott wrote Little Women in hopes of some decent sales and a little breathing room and got way more than she asked for. The money in sequels was too good to turn down (and her father didn’t get any smarter with a dime), but Alcott hated writing what she called “moral pap for the young” and longed to return to the smut and violence of her early endeavors. —Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Books and Authors You Had to Read in High School (via bookriot)
posted 7 hours ago with 8,106 notes
via:maladyofthequotidian source:bookriot

scenicroutes:

"nah we can’t have female leads or characters of colour or gay characters or else our show will bomb"

image

image

posted 7 hours ago with 45,898 notes
via:maladyofthequotidian source:scenicroutes

kattomatic:

ericjudysbeard:

Working at LUSH: the saga

I have had men some into a store I used to work at asking if “this hairspray will work on men” and when I said yes they said “but it’s purple”

thekattcameback:

sharkchunks:

This may be the greatest facial expression ever captured on film.

Pure perfection.

posted 7 hours ago with 106,209 notes
via:lucyinthesoupwithcroutons source:escroto
#Anthony

frenchfryempress:

if you’re not including south and southeast asians when you say “asian” i need you to stand outside and wait for the garbage truck to pick you up with the rest of the trash

(Source: shutiao)

posted 7 hours ago with 2,963 notes
via:maladyofthequotidian source:shutiao
#YEAH

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

posted 7 hours ago with 177,437 notes
via:conworthylemon source:luxvriously
THEME